frae I wis a laddie I wid gaun tae the fishin wi ma Uncle Bill he wis ma fither’s uncle but no actually much aulder than him he wis ma grandfither’s youngest brother hud been a champion sprinter in aes day won the Pooderha’ Sprint yin year but fishin wis aes passion mony a night in the summer he wid juist stey oot aw night fishin come hame in the mornin an gaun oot tae aes work he wis an awfy man ood gaun up the Leithen or up an doon the Tweed across frae Traquair thonder it wis him that lairnd eas tae fish gien aes ma first rod it hud been aes ain laddie’s lairnd aes how tae tie a flee oo wid sit for oors in aes shed tyin flees I wis never happier he hud a paraffin heater so oo were never cauld an I hud ma ain seat an auld leather stuill he’d got frae some hotel when they were gettin done oot so ood be there happy as larry makin Mairch Broons an Greenwell’s Glories an makin up oor ain recipes fur years I swore by yin I made up masel I cawed it Sheila’s Pink fur I yased the wee pink feathers off an auld hat ae ma Aunty Sheila’s that I mixed in wi a hen phaisant’s an tied in wi a yellae or a purple silk catched aes a guid few troots that yin but yin ae the things I mind the maist aboot ma Uncle Bill’s shed wis the soond ae the rain rattlin on the roof an me inside warm an dry in the paraffin fug makin flees an dreamin aboot the muckle troots I wis gaun tae catch

 

 

when I first stertit tae work I wis up the golfie I’d be juist left the schule juist a bairn when ee think aboot it I suppose I wis the asseestant greenkeeper’s asseestant but I fair enjoyed it in the summer it wis ma job tae water the greens in thae days that juist meant staunin wi a hose an sprayin them an every now an then I wis scoosh masel wi the water tae cool doon I’d be strippit tae the waist an broon as a berry an when it rained it wid be doon tools an away intae the shed there wid be Auld Tam the greenkeeper Jimmy Smith Harry Waterson an me an sometimes some ae the cooncil boys that wis on the parks wid come in tae it wid be cups ae tea an eatin yer pieces an smokin fags an bletherin that’s where I got ma education an if Auld Tam wis in a guid mood he’d get the cairds oot an oo could be there aw day an of course I thought this wis great havin a fly puff the cairds wi picters ae half-naked weemin on them beatin the men for I wis a right card sharp thinkin I wis a big man

 

 

when ee worked on the ferm the rain could be a right bastard ee needed it sometimes right enough but if ee got ower much it wid juist be a misery eed be platchin through the the glaur tae get tae the sheep an the cattle eed be worryin aboot the hervest

 

 

I love watchin the rain I can stand for ages juist lookin at it stottin off the grund it’s mesmerisin I’ve aye liked it I like it even better if it’s thunder an lightnin I get a fair shiver up ma spine an the bigger the flash an the looder the crash the better no like ma cousin Jenny she’s under the bed afore ee can say wink yince the thunder sterts I like bein oot in the rain tae no the thunder an lightnin right enough but I like nithin better than a walk in the rain gettin wet’s never bothered aes like ma granny aye sid I’m waterproof I love tae smell the rain on the tar in the summer when it’s been dry for ages an when I wis a bairn I mind ae likin tae sook the ties ae ma raincoat hood when they were soakin I think it minded aes ae the taste ae the raincover on the hood ae ma pram ma man says I’ve got a great imagination but it’s no ma imagination I can mind ae it fine cos prams were big in thae days ee were in them till ee were walkin an ee could be in yer cot till ee were three year auld an I mind ae standin outside the hoose sookin the metal palins ae the fence efter it hud been rainin they were cauld an hard an tasted rusty like blood

 

 

I aye fancied masel in a Jaguar nearest I ever got wis a hurl in a Bentley div ee mind ae Jock Rutherford Rutherford’s the wheelmakers Jock wis in ma cless at the schule oo wis pals as laddies well when he sellt the business he treated aessel tae a Bentley oh what a braw car it wis he came roond tae let aes see it took aes for a run across tae St. Mary’s Loch

 

 

the wife’s sister wis yin ae thae kind aye interferin aye hud tae huv her neb in everythin aye stickin her oar in in the end I juist tellt her I says Cathy keep yer nose oot an dinnae come roond here unless yer invited she wisnae pleased but Christ it wis gettin tae the stage that ee could hardly caw yer hoose yer ain she’d aye be roond the wife kinnae stuck up for her sayin it wis a shame for her stuck at hame looking efter their fither but she wis relieved tae oo’d hardly hud a Sunday efternin tae oorsels fur years

 

ma youngest sister wis right bonny no that I wis ugly or even plain I hud ma mother’s colourin auburn but I hud ower mony freckles for ma ain likin an kinnae wiry hair ma sister took efter ma fither blonde curly hair and sic bonny blue een she wis juist a wee doll when she wis wee grew up tall an slender juist like him aw the fellaes were efter her it can be a bit ae a curse bein that bonny ee see a lot ae weemin that’re good lookin thinkin too much ae theirsels an never bein content or mairryin somebody that’s got plenty money an they’re no happy I mind this wummin that lived in the posh hooses up by the schule oo would see her often when oo wis bairns red-heided she wis a right looker her man hud plenty money he wis a guid bit aulder than her the story wis that he’d chased her for years wore her doon eventually gied her onythin she wantit ee wid see them gaun aboot airm in airm he wis aye right protective wi her right gentlemanly but tae me there wis aye a kinnae deid look in her een ma sister wisnae like that she wis never vain for aw she wis a stunner she wis right freendly an liked a laugh that juist made the fellaes worse of course they wid be fawin ower each other tryin tae get a date she wid juist laugh at them tell them she wisnae ready fur that kinnae thing the man she ended up wi wis the last yin ee wid ever huv expectit he wis a wee quiet fellae wid never huv kent he wis there but he hud the awfiest crush on her she worked in the Store office up the stairs frae the furnishin where he wis he hud tae keep gaun up tae the office tae sort oot orders an yin day he juist plucked up enough courage tae ask her oot an he must’ve nearly  fell doon when she said that she wid an that wis it they were made for each other frae that day on ee never saw him but he had a smile on aes face it fair did yer hert guid juist tae see them thegither